Two weeks ago I received a diagnosis for ADHD at the tender age of 39. What an insane journey! A few weeks ago, I was actually searching for a therapist who specializes in pediatric ADHD for my son and I came across an adult clinic. On a whim, I reached out about scheduling an evaluation for myself. To be fair though, I’ve known I was different my whole life and had been working up the courage for some type of evaluation to help shed some light on my neurodivergence. I had taken online assessments previously but only recently considered ADHD a possibility (especially after my son’s diagnosis).
The evaluation consisted of a 90 min clinical interview with a psychologist and multiple self-assessments, as well as assessments for my husband and mother to complete. From start to finish, the process took about two weeks and about 660 dollars out of pocket (I’ve submitted claims to my insurance but I’m not sure if any will be covered). I can see how receiving official diagnoses are an incredible privilege, especially as an adult getting one for the first time because not everyone has the time or money to do so.
I’ve had a range of emotions since my new diagnosis. First, I felt so SEEN and validated; desired to shout my diagnosis from the rooftops! It’s the unifying idea that I’ve been searching for as to why I have behaved, acted and felt the ways that I have. I related so much to how ADHD presents typically in females. Then, just one day post-diagnosis, I began questioning it all. Had I duped the Dr. into this diagnosis? What if I wanted so badly an easy answer to my life’s problems and failures that I successfully convinced myself and others that this was it?? I began to google “Misdiagnosis of ADHD” and “What if your ADHD diagnosis is wrong ” and found random articles about how ADHD is the “diagnosis du jour” and convincing myself this is incorrect. I lived in this head space consistently for about a week or so (and still have random moments back in it). I actually emailed the Dr. who did my evaluation to ask her if it could possibly be a mistake and is it common to go down this rabbit hole? Will I ever believe this is real? Sure enough, I’m hearing it is incredibly common to feel this way. Why? Is it because so many of us have spent decades internalizing our challenges and believing that we are truly broken?
Now, more than ever, I need to hear from other ADHD women to give and receive support. I know my tribe is out there! If you are local to Philly, I just created a support group, ADHD Moms of Philadelphia. Please feel free to join, no matter if you are officially diagnosed, self-diagnosed, or just questioning. No judgements!
I want to hear your diagnosis stories, if you have them! How did you feel after receiving it?